By me.
All. The. Time.
The other night she woke up screaming, and as soon as I picked her up, she stopped. Put her back down-- mad as a hornet. Picked her up-- silence. I don't remember how many times this repeated that night or how long she cried in between, but eventually, feeling frustrated and slightly manipulated, I rocked her until she fell asleep in my arms.
And as she slept there like a rag-doll, breathing deep baby breaths and nuzzled up against my chest, the frustration faded and I realized that these nights are numbered, that she will not always fit in my arms or on my lap, and that someday I'm gonna miss this.
When I'm trying to go to the bathroom, for goodness' sake, and even then she is climbing up my legs, trying to stick her hand in the toilet, I tell myself that one day, I'm gonna remember these moments with fondness and miss even this.
When I drop her at the YMCA childcare or church nursery and get called back because she's screaming again, I realize how special it is that I am her mama, the one who makes everything right again, and that there will be a day when she doesn't need me anymore. Or worse yet, when simply holding her won't be enough to fix what's wrong. I'm gonna miss this.
Thank you for needing, wanting, and loving me so well, Janie Bear. I love you to pieces.
That is SO true....these years are so short in the scheme of life :-)
ReplyDeleteSo sweet, so true. I miss that even now. Well said, Mommy.
ReplyDelete...and then your daughter grows up and has a sweet daughter of her own. I love you, Amanda Bear.
ReplyDeleteThere will come a day when Janie Bear is an independent young woman, out on her own, making her own way, even being a mom herself.... but there will never come a day when she doesn't need you anymore. Just like you still need your mom and I still need mine even though she's no longer with me... And yes, I speak from experience, since my Grace is (gulp) 23 and wasn't it just yesterday when she was doing all the things in your photos? You WILL miss this.
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